Rumbling

Juni 08, 2023

 Akhir-akhir ini waktu seperti terbang melintas, berlalu cepat sekali. Tiba-tiba, aku sudah berada di akhir usia 20-an. Sebentar lagi, aku akan memasuki umur 30. It's frightening, but there is nothing I could do to slowing down the passage of time.

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Sebagian besar teman yang melewati suatu fase bersama denganku, baik itu sekolah maupun kuliah, telah memasuki fase pernikahan. Menambah perannya sebagai individu: suami, istri, ibu, ayah, menantu, ipar. Belakangan ini, undangan masuk silih berganti. Hampir setiap minggunya, ada undangan yang dikirimkan ke sosial mediaku. 

Menerima dan membaca undangan mereka membuatku ikut merasakan kebahagian mereka. Meski terkadang, sekelebat memori tentang tingkah konyol mereka di waktu lampau membuatku sedikit tidak menyangka mereka kini sudah menjadi dewasa dan akan menikah.

People may wonder, have I considered about marriage? Oh course, I am. Once in a while, though not too often. Since I only have a small world with a very few friendship circle, it allowed a minimal pressure about that matter. Furthermore, I'm fine by myself, but if luck is on my side, I have no problem having someone next to me.

But as I reach 30, I kind of wonder, how twist and turn of my life will be. If, just if, I have no fate in meeting someone kind until I reach late-30, what will I do in my 40? Will I be lonely? You know, at that age, my other friends will be busy taking care of their child while being busy at work trying to provide their family. Then, what will I do by myself?

This question have been weighing my mind for a while. If this is other person, maybe they'll start looking for their significant other. But I don't think I want to take the same route. Marriage is hard, I don't think rushing for it will bring good to me. Entering marriage life to escape from being lonely isn't a good idea either, for me.

So I'll just believe in fate, in a natural encounter where we somehow met and slowly getting to know each other better. Then at some point of time, we decide to live together because life is fun if we take the journey together.

Am I sound childish and drowning too deep into the fairytale? But I can't help, I growing up reading each one of them.

But either direction life will throw me at, I guess I'll figure out somehow, hot to be fine.

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